She's wants you to put your tallywacker in her special place.
The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Moderators: Shirley, Sabo, brian, rass, DaveInSeattle
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
- A_B
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Dissertation? How bout a dick for tastin'!
Hold on, I'm trying to see if Jack London ever gets this fire built or not.
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Dating advice from this group? You gonna consult Steve Harvey next? U be u just get a bankroll (or at least a room and kitchen) and hit the highway. Even if the game remains weak sounds like she will take the reins and handle the biz for you.
Had some better advice but fear of guys like chedda have my tongue tied on an anonymous message board.
Had some better advice but fear of guys like chedda have my tongue tied on an anonymous message board.
- govmentchedda
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Me?
Until everything is less insane, I'm mixing weed with wine.
- Brontoburglar
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
I fear you
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Employment. I don't put it beyond the lady that sleeps next to me to dig this up later.
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
I'll fuck her for you....
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Mrs Citgo isn't going anywhere...
Last edited by rass on Thu Mar 07, 2019 4:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
This thread took a turn.
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
What can I say, I miss Rimworld.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
- Brontoburglar
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
"Hey do you wanna play Rimworld?"
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
I'm rocking a pretty decent tan right now, and I've been in worse shape. I'm still a cauldron of social awkwardness but fuck it...let's do this. Just one is plenty though.Brontoburglar wrote: ↑Sun Feb 24, 2019 8:30 pm I really want to use your bumble/tinder accounts for 48 hours and get you seven dates in seven days
We can document it for these jabronis.
(If anyone was wondering, I screwed up the hot, weed-loving, evolutionary biologist, tennis player thing by never giving her any indication whatsoever that I was interested. You didn't see that coming.)
Also, if Bronto picks up my soulmate if soulmates were a thing, we're gonna need to burn this thread to the ground so it doesn't end like twelve movies I can't think of right now.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
I'm in. we'd have to figure out how to get my location to show up as yours, but that's probably possible. and don't be surprised if you get a date for within 24 hours of when I match with someone
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
I just voice-called a girl to get a date for like the first time in about 5 years. The voicemail was probably as awkward as the last time I tried that.
- The Sybian
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
I assume J-Lo was so busy on an endless string of dates that he couldn't find time to update...Brontoburglar wrote: ↑Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:02 am I'm in. we'd have to figure out how to get my location to show up as yours, but that's probably possible. and don't be surprised if you get a date for within 24 hours of when I match with someone
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
I got sweaty palms just reading that.
"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
we gotta get this show on the road because my swiping skills are undoubtedly getting rusty!The Sybian wrote: ↑Mon Dec 16, 2019 10:49 pmI assume J-Lo was so busy on an endless string of dates that he couldn't find time to update...Brontoburglar wrote: ↑Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:02 am I'm in. we'd have to figure out how to get my location to show up as yours, but that's probably possible. and don't be surprised if you get a date for within 24 hours of when I match with someone
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
given all the screenshots that I see posted by women about how idiotic and stupid men are while trying to date/get her to go out on a dating app, I gotta think the phone call immediately elevated your status even if you stammered the entire time
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Yeah, I came to the conclusion that I just don't want to. I think I only wanted to because it's such a novelty after being married for 19 years. The idea of getting to know someone under the guise of dating just seems exhausting right now. Also, my anxiety meds while helping, don't exactly do wonders for my libido.The Sybian wrote: ↑Mon Dec 16, 2019 10:49 pmI assume J-Lo was so busy on an endless string of dates that he couldn't find time to update...Brontoburglar wrote: ↑Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:02 am I'm in. we'd have to figure out how to get my location to show up as yours, but that's probably possible. and don't be surprised if you get a date for within 24 hours of when I match with someone
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
It’s not that hard.Jerloma wrote: ↑Thu Dec 19, 2019 1:20 pmYeah, I came to the conclusion that I just don't want to. I think I only wanted to because it's such a novelty after being married for 19 years. The idea of getting to know someone under the guise of dating just seems exhausting right now. Also, my anxiety meds while helping, don't exactly do wonders for my libido.The Sybian wrote: ↑Mon Dec 16, 2019 10:49 pmI assume J-Lo was so busy on an endless string of dates that he couldn't find time to update...Brontoburglar wrote: ↑Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:02 am I'm in. we'd have to figure out how to get my location to show up as yours, but that's probably possible. and don't be surprised if you get a date for within 24 hours of when I match with someone
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Nah thats a different problem. Hes just scared to step out there.
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Can I get a ruling on if this is flirting?
hey is it your birthday? facebook is blowing up your spot with a little cake emoji thing next to your name. happy birthday (if you are into that sort of thing)!
It may not surprise you that I don’t really care about it but nonetheless seeing you conform to social conventions does a lot for me.
it doens't surprise me in the least. i typically ignore all of the cake emoji's and deliberately avoid saying happy birthday to people who advertise birthdays with cake emojis.
but you know, you have a way of bringing out sides of my personality are in fact warm and pathetic (that's the opposite of a pathetic, right?), and then punish me for these displays with snarky remarks.
that's really cute, kyle.
what a hot mess of grammatical errors i am today. meh. figure it out yourslef. mostly i just want to know if pathetic is the true opposite of apathetic (not empathetic).
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
No one is wasting that much time on you unless they are flirting with you (or mocking you).
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
I'm going to say both are clearly flirting.rass wrote: ↑Tue Apr 28, 2020 1:31 pm No one is wasting that much time on you unless they are flirting with you (or mocking you).
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
seeing you conform to social conventions does a lot for me
assuming she was the one that posted it, you missed a giant flashing (and weird) red light below the label "flirting alarm"
assuming she was the one that posted it, you missed a giant flashing (and weird) red light below the label "flirting alarm"
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
No that was me. OMG, I was flirting? Look at me.Brontoburglar wrote: ↑Tue Apr 28, 2020 2:37 pm seeing you conform to social conventions does a lot for me
assuming she was the one that posted it, you missed a giant flashing (and weird) red light below the label "flirting alarm"
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
- Brontoburglar
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
so she is 1-3-4?
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Yes.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Yeah, she wants you.
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
- Brontoburglar
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
the date should have happened last night
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Can I get another flirting ruling here?
"Hey how'd you make out with your kitchen drain? Has your car stereo fixed itself yet? Just hanging around on a Friday night thinking about your gadgets."
"Hey how'd you make out with your kitchen drain? Has your car stereo fixed itself yet? Just hanging around on a Friday night thinking about your gadgets."
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
I know you already know the answer to this. If you are even remotely interested, step up!
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Quit over thinking it.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
She actually took me camping in the Catskills Labor day weekend which is not really a thing I do but my buddy lent me this setup that made it seems like I was travelling with a harem. By comparison, that's hers next to me. :-)
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
Jerloma is Tom Hanks in Big, right down to being too fondly remembered for his piano playing.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread
This is like a slow-building laugh. The longer I think about it, more meaning comes from it. And picturing J-Lo as a 12 year old trapped in a man's body trying to navigate sex is hilarious.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
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