OFFICIAL getting it in the butt thread

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Apr 07, 2022 5:06 pm

There are some scattered colonoscopy references but no dedicated thread? We’re getting old guys, this is important!

Getting my first next Friday (I’m newly 47). The first of the restrictions go in place as of tomorrow (no NSAIDS). The list of stuff not to do over the next week is more intimidating than the thought of the procedure itself. Added 1/2 a dozen reminders to my phone for next week to either do things or to remember NOT to do things in the morning.

The appointment is 2:40PM, so I’m going to take a go at working a half day. My home workstation is not far from a toilet. Figure getting mad at work stuff will keep my mind off being uncomfortable or thirsty or lacking coffee.

I don’t think I’ve ever been completely put under. That should be interesting, too.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Apr 07, 2022 5:15 pm

The best part was coming out of sedation and being told that I should "fart freely" as I guess they blow some air up there? Anyway, it was a curtained situation in a much larger 'communal' room which made the symphony all the more enjoyable.

HaulCitgo · Post by **HaulCitgo** » Thu Apr 07, 2022 5:26 pm

They put you under?

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Thu Apr 07, 2022 5:39 pm

I’ve been completely out for all of my colonoscopies

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Thu Apr 07, 2022 5:40 pm

At least for me, it was kind of a “twilight” thing, where you are kind of awake, but pretty doped up and don’t feel a thing.

Steve of phpBB · Post by **Steve of phpBB** » Thu Apr 07, 2022 5:40 pm

As you've probably been told, the procedure itself is nothing compared to drinking the Liquid Plumber they give you the night before.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Thu Apr 07, 2022 5:42 pm

Have fun with your prep day, Rass!

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Thu Apr 07, 2022 5:49 pm

I just had mine a few weeks back. (With a follow up EGD a week ago.) All good to go for me.

I told my doc I feel like I'm allergic to some sort of food because IBS is a thing with me. Looks like there's nothing negative to be found on any biopsy in my intestine or throat.

Still though. I hate how quickly I have to crap after eating.

pruitt2 · Post by **pruitt2** » Thu Apr 07, 2022 5:52 pm

rass wrote: ↑Thu Apr 07, 2022 5:06 pm There are some scattered colonoscopy references but no dedicated thread? We’re getting old guys, this is important!

Getting my first next Friday (I’m newly 47). The first of the restrictions go in place as of tomorrow (no NSAIDS). The list of stuff not to do over the next week is more intimidating than the thought of the procedure itself. Added 1/2 a dozen reminders to my phone for next week to either do things or to remember NOT to do things in the morning.

The appointment is 2:40PM, so I’m going to take a go at working a half day. My home workstation is not far from a toilet. Figure getting mad at work stuff will keep my mind off being uncomfortable or thirsty or lacking coffee.

I don’t think I’ve ever been completely put under. That should be interesting, too.

Good luck. As stated elsewhere the turbo-lax is the worst part.

You may be being a bit ambitious with the working on the morning of the procedure. Unless you can do your job on the toilet.

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Apr 07, 2022 5:53 pm

Steve of phpBB wrote: ↑Thu Apr 07, 2022 5:40 pm As you've probably been told, the procedure itself is nothing compared to drinking the Liquid Plumber they give you the night before.

I got pills/tablets to take over a very specific period of time and with a very specific amount of water. Along with copious amounts of gas-x.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Fri Apr 08, 2022 9:16 am

My first one is coming up. I was diagnosed last week with diverticulitis and they want me to get one.

Post by **Sabo** » Fri Apr 08, 2022 9:24 am

Giff wrote: ↑Fri Apr 08, 2022 9:16 am My first one is coming up. I was diagnosed last week with diverticulitis and they want me to get one.

They'll probably want you to get one every two years, depending on the severity of your condition. At least that's what they told me. YMMV.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Fri Apr 08, 2022 9:28 am

It was "mild acute". No alcohol for 10 days (sadly the longest I'll have gone without in nearly 25 years) and a bland diet. I forgot that last part last night and paid for it.

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Fri Apr 08, 2022 10:00 am

My dad had colon cancer, so I had one when I turned 45. I need to get back in there, most likely.

Haven't had a decent check up in many years... fixing that (rectifying?) next month.

rass · Post by **rass** » Sat Apr 09, 2022 5:29 pm

Ordered a salad containing corn for dinner only because I can’t eat it again until next weekend.

Also have to give up my almond-containing breakfast bars.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Thu Apr 14, 2022 9:18 am

Giff wrote: ↑Fri Apr 08, 2022 9:28 am It was "mild acute". No alcohol for 10 days (sadly the longest I'll have gone without in nearly 25 years) and a bland diet. I forgot that last part last night and paid for it.

Man, eight days in and it's really unbelievable the effect alcohol (or lack thereof) has on the body. It's going to make it very easy to stay dry during the work week going forward, for sure.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Thu Apr 14, 2022 9:29 am

Giff wrote: ↑Thu Apr 14, 2022 9:18 am
Giff wrote: ↑Fri Apr 08, 2022 9:28 am It was "mild acute". No alcohol for 10 days (sadly the longest I'll have gone without in nearly 25 years) and a bland diet. I forgot that last part last night and paid for it.
Man, eight days in and it's really unbelievable the effect alcohol (or lack thereof) has on the body. It's going to make it very easy to stay dry during the work week going forward, for sure.

It does feel better. But I will warn you that when you have some on the weekend the next day is a bit harder than if you drink most nights. Not that you aren't smart enough to know about it.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Thu Apr 14, 2022 9:45 am

That's what a friend of mine was warning me about last weekend as he downed an airplane bottle of Evan Williams Honey right in front of me (before you judge, it was one of my FIL's favorites and I'd pick up a couple of those bottles for him every time I hit the liquor store).

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Apr 14, 2022 4:02 pm

Home covid test came back clean so I'm doing this. See you on the other side.

Or probably sooner if I get bored on the shitter.

Steve of phpBB · Post by **Steve of phpBB** » Thu Apr 14, 2022 4:12 pm

rass wrote: ↑Thu Apr 14, 2022 4:02 pm Home covid test came back clean so I'm doing this. See you on the other side.

Or probably sooner if I get bored on the shitter.

Good luck, Rass.

EnochRoot · Post by **EnochRoot** » Thu Apr 14, 2022 9:38 pm

I knew why I was afraid to peek in this thread. I need to poop in a box (followup dr appt next month), but it's just sitting there. That ColoGuard thing. I guess I scrape the poop with something and drop it off at some lab. Either way, I've not done it (this is 5 weeks or so now), and ColoGuard is texting me like I need some sort of crisis intervention.

It's sort of hilarious (cuz I know they're automated texts), but it does drive the point home I need to get the hell out of my chair and poop in the box.

Oh, and my wife tired of that joke about a month ago.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Apr 15, 2022 7:43 am

Got close once, when I somehow had some liquid to spare as piss and got up in the middle of the night to get rid of it, but I have yet to shart myself. Just completed dose 2 about a 1/2 hour ago, so that should be kicking in soon.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Apr 15, 2022 7:46 am

EnochRoot wrote: ↑Thu Apr 14, 2022 9:38 pm I knew why I was afraid to peek in this thread. I need to poop in a box (followup dr appt next month), but it's just sitting there. That ColoGuard thing. I guess I scrape the poop with something and drop it off at some lab. Either way, I've not done it (this is 5 weeks or so now), and ColoGuard is texting me like I need some sort of crisis intervention.

It's sort of hilarious (cuz I know they're automated texts), but it does drive the point home I need to get the hell out of my chair and poop in the box.

Oh, and my wife tired of that joke about a month ago.

When you do it you'll have a whole new round of Se7en "what's in the box?!?!?" joke to run into the ground.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Apr 15, 2022 11:49 am

Want to chew some gum but a couple of times a year (usually while running) I accidentally swallow it so just in case I won't.

Just took the shower with extra attention to the between cheeks area. Hope I'm lucid enough to ask the doc if he appreciates it.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Fri Apr 15, 2022 1:33 pm

rass wrote: ↑Fri Apr 15, 2022 11:49 am Hope I'm lucid enough to ask the doc if he appreciates it.

You might want to check the size of his fist before you start to crack wise with him.

pruitt2 · Post by **pruitt2** » Fri Apr 15, 2022 2:14 pm

Your signature has never been more fitting.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Apr 15, 2022 2:58 pm

For as long I was able to notice the aswirling it was cold.

That was crazy.

Post by **Shirley** » Fri Apr 15, 2022 3:12 pm

My confession - I just turned 52 and never had one of these. Probably because I haven't been to a doctor for a regular checkup in a decade or so. It's not that I hate doctors or anything, I just very rarely get sick and I never established a local doctor. I know I need to do that. Last time I went in it was after a friend dropped dead in the shower on Christmas Eve and I got spooked. I forget the name of the doc I used though.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Apr 15, 2022 4:21 pm

Supposedly clean and clear. Don’t need to go back for 10 years. Ass feels fine. No driving, no wine or liquor. Doc explicitly said I could have a beer later if I really wanted to.

EnochRoot · Post by **EnochRoot** » Sat May 14, 2022 6:35 pm

So for those who have never done the ColoGuard thing - It's a container with a bracket that it slides into (the bracket gets placed on your toilet, underneath the seat). So you actually do poop in the container, which you then put into the box. You also need to scrape the poop with a scraper that slots into a small tube. You also pour preservative over the poop before sealing the container.

So I did all that a couple weeks ago, and I got the result back inside of a week later. Negative for the likelihood of colorectal cancer. Or something.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Sat May 14, 2022 8:18 pm

Dang. I thought that was just spinning rifles and flags.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Sat May 14, 2022 9:33 pm

EnochRoot wrote: ↑Sat May 14, 2022 6:35 pm So for those who have never done the ColoGuard thing - It's a container with a bracket that it slides into (the bracket gets placed on your toilet, underneath the seat). So you actually do poop in the container, which you then put into the box. You also need to scrape the poop with a scraper that slots into a small tube. You also pour preservative over the poop before sealing the container.

So I did all that a couple weeks ago, and I got the result back inside of a week later. Negative for the likelihood of colorectal cancer. Or something.

[INSERT MICHAEL SCOTT GIF]

Square Rob · Post by **Square Rob** » Sun May 15, 2022 7:11 am

A_B wrote: ↑Sat May 14, 2022 8:18 pm Dang. I thought that was just spinning rifles and flags.

Genuine lol

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Tue Jul 26, 2022 7:05 am

I got mine tomorrow, and I’ve had some bad anxiety since yesterday. Not the procedure so much, but what they might find. Colon cancer runs in my family, and my highly accelerated BM habits (3-5 times a day) has me thinking something might be up.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Tue Jul 26, 2022 7:17 am

L-Jam3 wrote: ↑Tue Jul 26, 2022 7:05 am I got mine tomorrow, and I’ve had some bad anxiety since yesterday. Not the procedure so much, but what they might find. Colon cancer runs in my family, and my highly accelerated BM habits (3-5 times a day) has me thinking something might be up.

Good luck. Better to know either way than to worry and not know.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Tue Jul 26, 2022 7:33 am

While I certainly don't know your family history and mine doesn't have a history, all my incessant shitting was alcohol related, but I also don't know your intake there either. Mine was pretty high.

Pruitt3 · Post by **Pruitt3** » Tue Jul 26, 2022 9:15 am

Good luck with the test tomorrow.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Tue Jul 26, 2022 9:31 am

Good luck, L-Jam. I was scheduled for this week, but need to reschedule. He told me to let him know if there are any flare-ups of my diverticulitis because apparently colonoscopies are not good if you're having one, and I am.

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Wed Jul 27, 2022 1:23 pm

Just woke up after stopping at a breakfast place. Not so bad. No polyps! The doc suggested that I won’t need another one for ten years, but I think I’ll make this an every five year thing.

And the lemon ricotta pancakes for breakfast yielded something solid! Either that, or the Myralax finally wore off.

Pruitt3 · Post by **Pruitt3** » Wed Jul 27, 2022 1:39 pm

L-Jam3 wrote: ↑Wed Jul 27, 2022 1:23 pm Just woke up after stopping at a breakfast place. Not so bad. No polyps! The doc suggested that I won’t need another one for ten years, but I think I’ll make this an every five year thing.

And the lemon ricotta pancakes for breakfast yielded something solid! Either that, or the Myralax finally wore off.

Great, great news!