The Swamp

Family installs surveillance video to determine why their dog is suddenly injured and fearful, only to discover son having sex with it

Hint

Hey, Shrew!

Shrew wrote:Family installs surveillance video to determine why their dog is suddenly injured and fearful, only to discover son having sex with it

Hint

Sometimes you are better off not knowing.



Freeze warnings issued for central XXXXXXXX.

Horrible story. I'm giving it away, but that's just up the road from me.

I'm not saying he should've done it…

. . . but I understand.

Texting during the trailers?

Yeah, now if he was texting during the movie, that's justifiable homicide right there. If you were allowed to kill people who text and talk during the movie, I might go to the theater a lot more often.

Old people are totally carrying out all my revenge fantasies this year.

rass wrote:77 year old attacks person for having too many items in express lane

I spent 5 years as a cashier at WEGMANS!!! and I have seen the express lane almost come to blows on numerous occasions. Almost always elderly people losing their shit. Like they have anywhere to be. I once let a woman through the 7 or less with 12 or 15 items, as there was nobody in line. Old dude comes up behind after i started scanning her stuff and starts screaming at her. I told the coot I let her in, and he wouldn't let up. I actually had to physically restrain the dude, probably about 75 yo, because I think he was actually going to throw a punch. Meanwhile, he probably paid by check.

I was a cashier at a grocery store for a couple of years. I almost had a guy punch me because I kicked him out of the express lane because he had 13 items. The limit was 12. The funniest thing about it was there was no one else in line for the express lane but he had to wait while in the regular lane. The whole time he waited, he was yelling at me at the top of his lungs.

Yeah, I was a dick. But it was hilarious to me at the time.

I had someone in front of me once say it was 12 items...but neglected the fact that he had multiples of several of the items(Say, three 12 packs of Mountain Dew he counted as "one")brining his total to about 20 items total.

But then I made up for it the other day by accidentally going in the express lane with 14 or so items...but no one was behind me and the other lines were hella packed and the cashier waved me in.

So if that guy got 103 jars of peanut butter, he would count it as one item?

rass wrote:Aspiring rapper mows down Walmart shopper with logic bullets

CIRCULAR REFERERENCE! DOES NOT COMPUTE!

Gunpowder wrote:So if that guy got 103 jars of peanut butter, he would count it as one item?

I once got kicked out of the express line. The only thing I was buying was 15 cans of cat food. I mistakenly thought that counted as one thing. I got sternly disabused of that by the cashier, and the lady behind me in line. Embarrassing.

When I was in high school, my mom doing that passive-aggressive thing where she talks to me loudly enough to where the other person can hear it. "I guess the sign for 12 items or less is in a bad spot." I just rolled my eyes and ignored her until it was our turn in line and I counted 14 items. I then said "14 items...I guess it is." The cashier got a kick out of that.

sancarlos wrote:

Gunpowder wrote:So if that guy got 103 jars of peanut butter, he would count it as one item?

I once got kicked out of the express line. The only thing I was buying was 15 cans of cat food. I mistakenly thought that counted as one thing. I got sternly disabused of that by the cashier, and the lady behind me in line. Embarrassing.

You were in the clear in my book. You hit 15x and scan once. Unless you are at a crappy store with the multiple option on the register or have an idiot cashier. If they have to scan each can separately, you got 15 items.

The Sybian wrote:

sancarlos wrote:

Gunpowder wrote:So if that guy got 103 jars of peanut butter, he would count it as one item?

I once got kicked out of the express line. The only thing I was buying was 15 cans of cat food. I mistakenly thought that counted as one thing. I got sternly disabused of that by the cashier, and the lady behind me in line. Embarrassing.

You were in the clear in my book. You hit 15x and scan once. Unless you are at a crappy store with the multiple option on the register or have an idiot cashier. If they have to scan each can separately, you got 15 items.

This was probably back in the 70s or something.

sancarlos wrote:Retired cop shoots man in chest for texting in movie theater.

STAND YOUR GROUND!

For one, when Oulson threw popcorn, that was legally an assault. But was it reasonable to respond with deadly force simply because of the popcorn? No, Rose believes.

However, it becomes more complicated if Reeves considered it to be one step in an escalating response from Oulson. If he feared that Oulson would next come over the seats and physically attack him — and if Reeves felt he wouldn't be able to handle an attack from a younger man — jurors might consider deadly force reasonable, the lawyer said.

h/t

I need to start using some deadly force on mothafuckas

That's a pretty sweet law if you're allowed to use psychic precognition to get yourself off the hook.

"Well, I knew this guy was going to attack me in 6 months, so I just went ahead and killed him now."

brian wrote:That's a pretty sweet law if you're allowed to use psychic precognition to get yourself off the hook.

"Well, I knew this guy was going to attack me in 6 months, so I just went ahead and killed him now."

Seriously. Prove beyond a shadow of doubt, Mr. Prosecutor, that if I didn't kill this guy he would not have attacked me. Without looking, I would assume the attack must be imminent. The Bush doctrine can only be carried so far. Then again, this is Florida...

I am just hoping a nigga throws a popcorn kernel at me.

Do we have to give Florida any credit for arresting Bieber?

Naked man on some kind of weird drug bites off someone's face....AGAIN

Father arrested for solicitation had his 2-year old in the car at the time

Williams said he wasn't doing anything shady with the woman he believed was a prostitute on Ridgewood. In fact, he said, while on the way to buy his kids toys, he stopped to pray for the woman.

...

"He cried. Three-year-old son crying," Williams said. "We were on the way to go buy him some toys. It's causing so many problems. Soon to be ex-wife is pissed about it. It's just been a terrible situation."

Clark: Oh she's just a waitress. I was just ordering some fish for you and uh...
Rusty: Audrey, dad.
Clark: For you and Audrey. Swimming pool waitress...
Rusty: Do you think mom will buy it?
Clark: Good talk, son.

Background is probably a giveaway, but...



h/t (url is also a spolier)

Johnny Carwash wrote:Background is probably a giveaway, but...

Lake Erie? (oh wait, it ain't on fire)

rass wrote:Father arrested for solicitation had his 2-year old in the car at the time

Williams said he wasn't doing anything shady with the woman he believed was a prostitute on Ridgewood. In fact, he said, while on the way to buy his kids toys, he stopped to pray for the woman.

...

"He cried. Three-year-old son crying," Williams said. "We were on the way to go buy him some toys. It's causing so many problems. Soon to be ex-wife is pissed about it. It's just been a terrible situation."

Clark: Oh she's just a waitress. I was just ordering some fish for you and uh...
Rusty: Audrey, dad.
Clark: For you and Audrey. Swimming pool waitress...
Rusty: Do you think mom will buy it?
Clark: Good talk, son.

This guy is too damned funny. Claims he told her he wasn't interested, then pulled over to pray for her, then the cops swooped in. Right. Now, if he said she was so ugly he felt bad for her and threw her a bone (ha!) out of pity, I'd think he was just paying it forward.

I thought that was going to link to a very amazing news story that I don't feel like re-looking up just to post. But its amazing and everyone in the world should read it.

I hate to rain on your "Yay Florida!" parade, but today's lead local news story puts all of this joy on the back burner. Fucking people, man.

Is it the double-BJ + murder story I'm referring to?

govmentchedda wrote:I hate to rain on your "Yay Florida!" parade, but today's lead local news story puts all of this joy on the back burner. Fucking people, man.

Police KKK story?

Four year old getting thrown from a moving car in the middle of the night, and dying early this morning.

Yesterday was 4 year old getting mauled to death by two pit bulls.