Swamp RimWorld Challenge 2017 - The Final Countdown

[Ryan]

2016, man

[mister d]

BSF asks Rhiadra to marry him and is rejected!

Ha! Fucking loser.

[A_B]

In Indiana, BSF Gal unknowingly doesn't get that ring this christmas as BSF fears rejection.

[bapo!]

I was strangely okay when Bengal went down. But Marshmallow? This one's going to be hard to get over.

[P.D.X.]

Slolz got our fucking wolf killed.

[P.D.X.]

Srsly though, if the next version had a "vote on what move to make" feature, that would be balls.

[tennbengal]

I was strangely okay when Bengal went down. But Marshmallow? This one's going to be hard to get over.

Oh for fuckssake. Just because the Pirates cannot give McCutcheon away all of a sudden is not reason to take it out on me...

[bapo!]

I was strangely okay when Bengal went down. But Marshmallow? This one's going to be hard to get over.

Oh for fuckssake. Just because the Pirates cannot give McCutcheon away all of a sudden is not reason to take it out on me...

Hey, I'm not saying that I celebrated. It was more like, I had come to grips with it before it even happened. But I thought that Marshmallow would outlive us all.

(And I'm just glad that Pirates are feared and reasonably competent in Swampville.)

[Johnny Carwash]

So here we pick up, feverishly working to save the wounded after the costly battle. We soon run out of professional-quality medicine and have to use herbal homeopathic shit.

There are numerous complications and close calls, yet, despite the odds, all our remaining Swampers--rass, BSF, and Sabo--pull through. The only permanent damage is Sabo having had his left ear cut off in the battle.

You guys aren't going to like this, but--I forgot to designate specific instructions for disposal of Marshmallow's remains and, well...

[BSF21]

So here we pick up, feverishly working to save the wounded after the costly battle. We soon run out of professional-quality medicine and have to use herbal homeopathic shit.

There are numerous complications and close calls, yet, despite the odds, all our remaining Swampers--rass, BSF, and Sabo--pull through. The only permanent damage is Sabo having had his left ear cut off in the battle.

You guys aren't going to like this, but--I forgot to designate specific instructions for disposal of Marshmallow's remains and, well...

It's probably how he would have wanted to go. Same with wlulax.

[Sabo]

So here we pick up, feverishly working to save the wounded after the costly battle. We soon run out of professional-quality medicine and have to use herbal homeopathic shit.

There are numerous complications and close calls, yet, despite the odds, all our remaining Swampers--rass, BSF, and Sabo--pull through. The only permanent damage is Sabo having had his left ear cut off in the battle.

You guys aren't going to like this, but--I forgot to designate specific instructions for disposal of Marshmallow's remains and, well...

That's fine. My hearing sucks in that ear anyway.

[mister d]

Vincent Van Goghio amiright???

[Gunpowder]

You think any stupid tribes are gonna fuck with us again? I doubt it.

[Johnny Carwash]

Srsly though, if the next version had a "vote on what move to make" feature, that would be balls.

I might see about doing something like this going forward. I'd just want to avoid holding up the game waiting for a certain sample size on the votes.

[sancarlos]

Vincent Van Goghio amiright???

Does anyone else remember Vincent Van Gopher, from the old Deputy Dawg cartoon?

[Johnny Carwash]

Here's something I'm pretty sure has never been said in a positive context: "A group of mechanoids has appeared and is attacking." Mechanoids? Let's see.


OK, what in the fuck is this? It's called a "Scyther." That can't be good.


It invades our base through a back door, but we're patient and lure it into the open where a well-prepared attack destroys it surprisingly easily. Can't wait to run into 12 of these sometime soon.

Sabo has developed an "alcohol dependency." It is classified as "small." For now. The massive beer stockpile from the slavers we ambushed probably didn't help.


Remember that guy Chewy, the 72-year-old missionary? We kind of have a problem. With the death of his girlfriend Marjot, his neuroses get the better of him and he takes to wandering in a daze, where he stumbles upon a lost shipment of "yayo," the game's version of cocaine. In a drug-addled frenzy, Chewy attacks rass in a hallway. Rass attempts to subdue him gently, which is kind of hard to do with a reinforced steel club, and ends up more like, well, caving in Chewy's chest and skull until he dies. So long, Chewy. One more non-Swamper down.

A short time later, we get another new joiner, Karo, a medieval minstrel like Kristy. Because two of those is exactly what a struggling settlement needs.

[Johnny Carwash]

So the game has apparently decided to stop trying to kill us with man-made threats, and switched to nature instead. We receive word that we are now entering a "volcanic winter" of indeterminate length, where a layer of ash has blocked out the sun, lowering temperatures and making growing crops difficult if not impossible. Basically, this place just turned into The Road.

Sure enough, within a short time our crops die out and our food supplies dwindle. We set up some high-tech hydroponic basins to grow a few crops indoors, but it's not going to be nearly enough. We'll need to scour the countryside for every edible thing we can find. The weather conditions are causing the once-plentiful game to die off, and now have the added danger of competing with the bears, grown ferocious in their hunger.

By the way, we've hit a bottleneck in our work efficiency, as despite the desperate circumstances, BSF is the only remaining colonist who doesn't think hauling things around is "below" him.


Oh, shit. Our colonist Clovis is out scavenging when he is pounced on by a hungry bear. The others manage to arrive on the scene and kill the bear, but not before it's mauled Clovis to death and eaten large parts of him.

Our situation is looking dire when a trading ship appears on our scanners. We buy a load of potatoes and tortoise meat that will hopefully get us through the winter.

We successfully fight off another raid from tribespeople, though our colonist Anders is killed by friendly-fire from BSF and/or Sabo (I really, really, need to work on getting better at this). Remember when we felt outnumbered by non-Swampers? Not anymore.

[Johnny Carwash]

And with that last post, we're caught up with the current game. Since it can be kind of dead here on weekends, I'll hold off on the next updates until Monday. In the meantime, I've put a new poll at the top for everyone to speculate.

[Johnny Carwash]

Oh shit. The mechanoids are back. This time there's three of them.

Just as we're preparing for the attack, we get another message about a refugee fleeing from raiders. I'm just about to say "fuck off, we're busy" when we learn that the refugee, Kane, is Rass's father! We can't say no, can we? We let him in.

Here comes Kane. Let's see if he can sneak around the mechanoids.

And here come the natives, but they run right in to the mechanoids. This is going to be brutal. Let's see if they thin each other out, making the final fight easier for us.


The good news--the mechanoids weren't nearly as tough as they looked. The bad news--the natives were almost unscathed and are now bearing down on us. The natives are just going to try to knock over our walls, it looks like. We'll wait.


Victory! but it comes at a cost. BSF loses his right hand. Sabo loses his left arm and left second toe. BSF's dream of getting a prosthetic something-or-other may finally become a reality, if we find the right supplier.

[Johnny Carwash]

After the raid, we settle back into some remote semblance of daily life. But--uh oh!I had wrongly assumed the threat from hungry rampaging bears had subsided.


While out stocking resources, a stray bear attacks BSF! The bear tears off BSF's arm and begins to devour his internal organs before help can arrive. He's a goner. Because of the aforementioned aversion to manual labor, none of the remaining colonists will bury BSF, and so let his corpse rot away in the open. We ate the bear, if that's any consolation.

Note: I'll put the deaths of Swampers in red text from now on for easier reference.


The volcanic winter has finally ended, but this game has decided to never stop fucking with us. We get word that there has been a toxic fallout from an undetermined source, and toxic dust clouds fill the atmosphere. The air turns green, which I will assume is bad.

[Johnny Carwash]

We receive notice that a "psychic ship" has landed in the area and is emitting a signal that will slowly drive our remaining colonists to insanity. Our only course of action is to destroy it.


We approach the psychic ship, attack and--whoa, fuck! Look at these things. Look at that big one, that's just...disturbing. That's...not supposed to exist.


We drop the two smaller ones, but the big one, called a "Centipede," fires an incendiary round, fatally setting Kristy on fire. Another round hits Sabo and he burns to death! The Centipede rolls over rass, crushing his torso and killing him! Rass beats Sabo for the title of "last Swamper standing" by about 30 seconds. Congratulations!

Karo goes down. Rass's father, Kane, attacks the Centipede but is downed by an incendiary round and that's all she wrote.

Swampville II lasted 149 days. Here's a recap of our initial colonists' fates:
- bengal - shot in the head during battle with pirates; died of infection
- wlu_lax - accidentally shot and killed by BSF during battle
- BSF - mauled to death by bear
- Sabo - killed by incendiary round from robotic centipede
- rass- crushed to death by robotic centipede

[rass]

Congrats to Swampville II Champion rass!

[Sabo]

So ... GPJ comes into this thread and offers "advice" that leads to the destruction of the camp, and one of the Swampers dies from a bear attack.

Irony? Or just the circle of life?

[Johnnie]

So, I know you can't detail every part of what the group experiences, but are there points in the game where the conditions don't seem so dire? I understand that it's half the fun navigating through conflict, but does it ever slow down?

[Johnny Carwash]

So, I know you can't detail every part of what the group experiences, but are there points in the game where the conditions don't seem so dire? I understand that it's half the fun navigating through conflict, but does it ever slow down?

Yes, about 90% of the game time is building and maintaining your base and doing the everyday work. You can change the difficulty settings that affect the frequency and intensity of threat events. I usually have it lower early on when I'm getting set up, then turn it up when I'm bored and want something dramatic to happen.

I'll see about posting the lineup for Swampville III at lunch time.

[mister d]

The bear tears off BSF's arm and begins to devour his internal organs ... We ate the bear, if that's any consolation.

Sooo ...

[Johnny Carwash]

Swampville III
Here we go again:


Johnnie was raised on an urbanized hive world. He went on to graduate from the Star Academy with honors and became a decorated fighter pilot. This background gives him a good variety of skills, a jack of all trades. He has a neurotic personality, which makes him work faster, but also more susceptible to a mental breakdown. Like howard, he is also a psychopath.


Gunpowder helped maintain his family's small business while experimenting with alternative medicine on the side. This gives him decent skills in both medicine and plant growing. He greatly enjoys fighting in hand-to-hand combat and refuses to use guns (irony!) He is a pessimist.


Ryan was raised in a cult and later traveled the galaxy to study plant and animal life. He has good knowledge of agriculture and art but not much else. He refuses to engage in violence. His personality is described as "abrasive," and he has a habit of breathing heavily around others, creeping them the fuck out.


bapo! was grown in a vat at a bioweapons facility. He later became a toaster repairman. He is something of a renaissance man, with good skills in combat, mining, construction, and working with animals. He is a hard worker, but slow as shit. Like several others, he is incapable of empathy or social interaction. I don't know what bapo looks like in real life, so I made an educated guess and assumed he has a huge purple afro.


Nonlinear took a keen interest in scouting pursuits as a child, and grew up to be a frontier marshal. He is good with a gun and has some medical skills, but is otherwise a willfully ignorant Philistine. He is a cannibal.

Updated the poll at the top.

[tennbengal]

Giddyup.

[brian]

So basically five sociopaths trying to start a new society? Sounds like a Tarantino movie.

[rass]

Is cannibalism like alcoholism or goat-fucking where it's like once a cannibal, always a cannibal?

[Johnnie]

So basically five sociopaths trying to start a new society? Sounds like a Tarantino movie.

Or one of the dopest Swampcast lineups.

I think Nonlinear eats Bapo. That people afro tho...

[bapo!]

Well, if my Swamp experience is any indication, one Swamper will try to form an alliance, two will aggressively ignore me, and the other will try to kill me and turn my body into a nutrient paste.

I regret nothing.

[Nonlinear FC]

That's a dope chapeau!

I'm pretty sure my cannibalism will be seen as a virtue when we have unwanted guests.

[Ryan]

[heavybreathing] I wanted cargo pants [/heavybreathing]

[bapo!]

I just realized that I forgot to pack a toothbrush. Anybody bring an extra?

[Nonlinear FC]

I just realized that I forgot to pack a toothbrush. Anybody bring an extra?

I find that with my diet, no amount of brushing yields a positive mouth scent.

[sancarlos]

I find that with my diet, no amount of brushing yields a positive mouth scent.

Taken out of context, that would make a hilarious signature line.

[Ryan]

I just realized that I forgot to pack a toothbrush. Anybody bring an extra?

You know how you can tell the toothbrush was invented in Maine? Me neither, I was raised in a cult!

Unnnnbreakable...

[Johnny Carwash]

I find that with my diet, no amount of brushing yields a positive mouth scent.

Taken out of context, that would make a hilarious signature line.

Thread title updated.

[Nonlinear FC]

And... Add me to the pile who has to try and explain this thread to head shaking spouse.